She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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