ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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