Three words: puerto rican gang bang
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
