If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
