Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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