im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
