Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
