I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
