i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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