yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
