Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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