1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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