I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
