I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
