Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
