Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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