i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
