i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
