Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
