i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
