Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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