alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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