my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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