So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
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