I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
