yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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