she was so not down for the gang bang
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
