i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
