what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
