I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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