Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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