I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
