I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
