If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
