I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
God, I missed his penis.
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