Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
