Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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