So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
