I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize