So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
