He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
