nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
