so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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