We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
