True but thats because hes a fetus.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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