I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
