therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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