It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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