ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
