I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
