Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
